What effect does divorce have on children?

Approximately 1 out of every 10 kids in households today go through some kind of psychological problem justifying a therapist or psychologist. If the child’s parents have divorced, the percentage rockets to 3 or 4 out of every 10.

A divorce can have traumatic psychological effects on a kid. Unfortunately, a lot of parents fail to realize this. This is partially due to the fact that they may be experiencing anger and hurt themselves and are unable to empathize with their children’s feelings. But often it is simply that the parents don’t realize just how much their kid is being affected by the divorce.

One of the best divorce secrets for men is to find one of the many divorce education programs sprouting up all across the U.S. Currently the number of these programs stands at over a thousand. Some of the programs are available on line as well.

Typically these programs focus on the following main issues:

1) Working to eliminate or reduce parental fighting in front of the children – When a kid sees his mother and father constantly fighting, it causes feelings of stress and anxiety in them. But, even more important, you are teaching them how to act in relationships. Kids are like sponges, they absorb and assimilate the things that they see, especially from their parents. By arguing and battling front of your kids you are telling and showing them that this is the way that adults resolve their differences. A divorce education program can show you a better way of taking care of conflicts.

2) Don’t use the kids as bargaining chips – Your kids are not pawns to be used in disagreements with your spouse to win arguments or to get your way. It’s easy to forget this, especially if you have self esteem issues yourself. Whether the issue is child support, parental custody, visiting privileges, or whatever – don’t treat your kids like chess pieces. Unless you wish them to grow up with huge emotional and psychological issues.

3) Don’t wall off the child from either parent – Many times one parent will try to prevent the other parent from seeing or interacting with the kids. It may be a misguided attempt to “punish” the other parent, it may simply be mean spiritedness, or it may be one parent afraid to give up control. Unless there is some underlying issue why one parent shouldn’t see the child, such as past child abuse, this does no good for the kid at all. To have the best chance of growing up well adjusted, kids need a sound relationship with both of their parents.

4) Remembering that the child’s welfare come’s first – Getting a divorce is difficult, we know. But it’s not all about the parents. It’s about everyone in the family relationship – parents and kids alike. Keeping this simple fact in mind will not only make the transition easier for the kids, it often improves the relationship between the divorcing parents as well. Keeping the welfare of your kids at the forefront of your mind, makes the whole divorce and after divorce more civil.

For those that are greatly concerned with their child’s welfare and would like to do all they can to protect them once the divorce has gone through, think about joining a divorce education programs. A divorce education program can do all of that and more.

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Filed under Divorce : Comments (0) : Feb 20th, 2009

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