Posts Tagged ‘relationship help’

Making Up Fast With This Technique

relationship advice

The reason relationships end can be grouped into three categories.  You wronged your ex, they wronged you, or relationship drift.  This article deals with the first two reasons.  You can learn more about getting ex back here. 

If, for example, your ex cheated on you or you cheated on them, there is a very important strategy you can use to get them back that can work in hours instead of weeks or months.  This strategy is called venting.  Venting is when you or someone else gets things off their chest.  What does this have to do with getting your ex back fast?

Because their good feelings towards you have now been replaced by bad ones.  Hurt, anger, sadness.  That’s obvious.  So the question becomes, how can you help them to release those negative feelings besides wait six months to see if they get over it?  Is there a way to speed up the process of resolving negative feelings?

The way to resolve bad feelings fast is to vent them.  To get them off one’s chest.  If they cheated on you, you need to vent to them.  If you cheated on your ex, they have some negative feelings they will drag around for a long time unless you help them to vent.  To oversimplify, you call them up and ask them how they feel about what you did to them.  Then be silent and let them put their emotions into words and start getting them off their chest.  You can get a complete system for Get Ex Back Fast here that goes into detail.

Look at it like a balloon filling with the hot air of negative feelings.  You want to prick the balloon by inviting your ex to vent.  It’s not hard, but it takes a bit of practice.  You want to make them feel heard and understood.  You don’t argue or explain or defend yourself.

This same strategy works the other way if they wronged you.  If you want them back after, say, they cheated on you, you need to release your bad feelings about what they did before you can really take them back.  So you ask them to just listen and not defend while you vent.

You already know about this tool.  You’ve probably used it many times over a beer with a friend getting things off your chest about work or your personal life, for example.

Using the tool of venting to get your ex back, along with a few others, can allow you to clear the air and resolve your issues much more quickly.  Instead of waiting months hoping they get over it, you can usually get them back starting in just hours from now.  You can get a free course on How To Have Loving Marriage Help here.

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

Get Ex Back With No Begging

how to get your ex back

Once our ex dumps us, we can really start to miss them.  It hurts so much we can end up doing crazy things.  We can stalk them by phone, text, or in person.  We can say I’m sorry til we’re blue in the face to no avail.  And we can beg and plead for another chance.  You can learn more about how to get your ex back here.

Everyone likes a little begging, they like to feel really wanted and needed.  But just a little.  Why begging doesn’t work is because it doesn’t change the bad feelings they have about you.  Your ex split up with you because their positive feelings for you have been replaced by negative ones.

You can beg all you want, but it won’t change their negative feelings about you.  They may pity you for begging, but just see you as weak and it will confirm they made a good choice in dumping you.

What you should do instead of begging is to have a plan that won’t make you look weak and pitiable.  Your plan needs to have part that helps your ex to release and let go of the bad feelings they have about you or what you did that are keeping you apart.

There are several Immediate Reconnect Plans to follow depending on why you broke up.  Each one has several steps you can take to actually help them to release the bad feelings they have about you so they can get back to love.  Go here for a free course on How To Fix Relationship Problems.

A very good first step, if you wronged your mate, is to just admit or fess up to what you did that was wrong.  Do not try to justify your poor behavior with lame excuses.  Just fess up like an adult.

The next very important step is to let them get things off their chest.  Let them vent.  Ask them how they feel about whatever happened then LISTEN.  Listening to their feelings is what helps them to let go of their negativity.

There is a lot more to this strategy, but it will usually be a lot more powerful than begging and pleading with them to take you back.  You can take a free course on how to get your ex back in hours.  You can get a complete system about how to get your ex back here.

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

Relationship Advice For When You’re The Only One Trying

You can fix relationship problems even if you seem to be the only trying to change your relationship.  You can make your relationship better even if your mate doesn’t seem interested in changing anything at all.  There are many ways to accomplish this, but one is the 4 Step Quick Change Method. This is Love And Intimacy Help that makes a difference.

First Step:  Be specific about what you want to change.  What specifically would make the relationship better for you?  More quality time together?  More real communication?  Less conflict?

The first step to changing your relationship is to be as specific and concrete as you can about what it is that you want to change.  The more specific you are, the more likely you’ll be to get the change you want.

Step two is to then make a request of your partner.  Ask him or her for what you want, being specific about the change you seek.  Do not say “We don’t communicate, can we talk more?”  That won’t help your partner see exactly what you want to change in the area of communication. Good Relationship Advice can really help you make changes for the better.

Do say When we get home from work, can we spend some quality time talking about our day before we turn on the tv?  Be as specific as you can, that way you will more likely get what you want.

The Third Step:  You’ve made a specific request, so expect a specific answer.  Let your partner either say yes, no, or maybe.  Don’t let them ignore you.

Look, they may surprise you and just say yes if you have made an attractive offer or request.  Or they may want to counter-offer to talk while you go for an evening walk or whatever.  And they may say no, but if so, it’s okay.

Step Four is not to get stopped by a no.  You don’t need to have a big battle with them if they decline your request.  It’s not a request if they can’t say no, is it?  Sometimes a no will just be a delayed yes, where they start to do more of what you asked them later on.

And sometimes, their no will be authentic, and then you need to honor it and make your own choices.  But if they say no, you can always ask again tomorrow or next week, if it is important to you don’t just accept the first no, ask again, this can help them get to yes.

Fixing relationship problems when you are the only one trying isn’t easy.  This tool will help.  You can make things better with a little of the right kind of focus and effort. You can get more advice for relationships here.

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

Having More Intimacy

Something that we all seem to want at core is intimacy.  That feeling of close connection with another or others.  It is a basic need that drives us to get into relationship or marriage.  Yet after we get into a relationship we find that intimacy can slip from our grasp and out of our love life.

For this and other good reasons, it is worthwhile to learn How To Have The Marriage You Want.

Over time, intimacy becomes something that often seems elusive and we struggle to try to get it or keep it.  Our intimacy needs can drive us to get a divorce, because if we aren’t feeling intimate with our mate, we know we have to search elsewhere for it. 

We all have intimacy needs.  These are hardwired into our systems.  Men and women have different approaches to getting their intimacy needs met.  You’ve heard the saying “Women give sex to get love, and men give love to get sex.”  This saying points to an underlying theme about sex in relationships.  

Men equate intimacy with sex.  One of the primary ways men go about getting their intimacy needs met is through sex.  When they feel the need to be close, they want sex.  After climax, they often retreat behind their walls until the intimacy need builds up and they want sex again.

While men are from mars, in this way, women are from venus.  They can enjoy intimacy and deep bonding from sex, and also from communication.  Women, in general, have more ways that they can experience and express intimacy.

You don’t have intimacy forever just because you felt it once with your mate.  You have to keep working on it.  Sex can’t be your only method for experiencing intimacy.  Familiarity and taking each other for granted can kill off intimacy.  Find out more about intimacy beyond sex.

A great way to have more intimacy is to talk to each other, but it is more in how you talk than what words you say.  If you listen to each other with real interest, and accept your mate and make them feel heard and understood, you will be more likely to experience it.

You can have more intimacy by practicing intimate communication.  This means to share yourself and listen from your heart, with interest in what your mate has to say and without judging them.  Making them feel heard and understood rather than taken for granted is a powerful way to promote more intimacy on a daily basis. Learn more about this in the free course How To Fix Relationship Problems.

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Filed under Love : Comments (0) : May 6th, 2009

3 Ways To Improve Your Relationship Today

You can really improve the quality of your relationship with a few simple practices.  Here are the top three tips you can put to use today to make your relationship even better.  More detailed information on all of this is available in a free relationship course 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Never Learned In School.

Top Secret Number One:  Play!  Actual relationship studies have shown that there is a decrease in fighting when there is an increase in playing.  So if you are fighting a lot, play more, and test this out for yourself.  Just a little bit of timea day of playing with your partner can begin to change the feel of your whole relationship.

So do you have a date night at least once a week where you both go spend time playing together like you did in the beginning?  Make the time to have fun with your mate!

Top Secret Number Two:  Get Better At Conflict.  Conflict will occur in any relationship.  Studies have shown that how partners deal with conflict determines the length and quality of the relationship.  During conflict we all tend to revert emotionally to 7 year olds, but screaming at your mate or expressing contempt are some of the big trouble signs for a partnership.

As you will be arguing with your love from time to time anyway, it is good to start now to take some time to learn how to deal with conflict in healthy ways.  One technique is to learn to attack less during a fight and use “I” statements rather than “you” statements to discuss how you feel.  You can get some free training on conflict and Emotional Intelligence here.

Top Secret Number Three is to Minimize the Mind Reading.  Your lover can’t read your mind.  They don’t actually just know what you want and need.  Realize this and help them out by asking for what you want.  If you need some time to yourself, ask.  If you need them to just listen instead of give you their advice, make a request for that as well.

By asking for what you need, you can prevent a lot of fights and sulking.You can also support your mate in making requests for what they need as well.  That’s being a good mate.

There is obviously a lot more to each of these three topics.  Books have been written on them.  But spending some time and effort on these three principles will pay off for your relationship over the long term.  If you’d like to learn more about Relationship Intelligence to transform your love life, you can fix relationship problems with a free course.

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : Apr 21st, 2009

Rescuing Your Marriage on Your Own is Speedy and Painless to Do.

I don’t care who you are or how long you’ve been married, sooner or later you will have relationship challenges that can and sometimes do lead to more severe marriage challenges.  What you and your spouse must understand, right from the start of your marriage, is that you are in charge of of what happens in your relationship.  You have the power to fix it as simply as the troubles arise.  Knowing that you are in charge of the situation is one huge step in saving a potentially miserable marriage.

If you want to save your marriage the most significant and essential step is letting go of pride.  So many times in marriage problems people let their pride to get in the way which disables the process of healing.  If you need marriage help you first need to swallow hard and push that arrogance away.

Once the pride is off the beaten path, you and your partner can talk about anything, regardless of what because there is no pride to be bruised or to stand in the way.  Communication and a fast answer to your marriage troubles is how couples resolve their problems painlessly and immediately.  You have to be ready to discuss the issues with each other in a cool and civil manner.  If one or the other starts to yell, you need to discontinue the discussion right then and continue it when you both are peaceful.

An unhappy marriage doesn’t happen overnight and fixing the concerns won’t be immediate, but they will happen fast providing each of you are prepared to acknowledge what has gone erroneous and are ready to help out to make it right.  It’s always good to remember that when you point a finger of blame at somebody there are always three fingers pointing back at you.  That’s an old cliché but ever so true. 

The sooner you recognize a problem and begin to resolve it, the faster you and your spouse can get back to a quiet and fit marriage.  This is not to say that you won’t ever have challenges again; as long as there is marriage, there will always be marriage troubles.  It’s naïve to feel that you can spend every day of the rest of your life with the same person and not have some kind of relationship problems.  That is normal in every single marriage known to man.  It is how you deal with those challenges that set you away from all the others.  Your willingness to make the  marriage work and not give in to the “easy way out”, which so many people do these days is what will make you successful. 

It takes a lot of exertion keeping a marriage living and running healthy and far too many people are not prepared to go that extra mile or put forth the effort to take a sad marriage and turn it around.  Divorce is easy; costly, but effortless.  The sad truth of the matter is more people break up than those who try to work out their marriage troubles.  It hasn’t always been that way; people used to look downward on divorce as “sinful” or “disgraceful”.  Society used to look at divorce as being out of the ordinary. At the moment people consider those who are able to maintain a strong marriage as being out of the norm.  It’s odd and even sad at times how society dictates the lives of so many people and how all those people allow it to happen.

No matter how you look at it, marriage takes a lot of work; from day one to the end of your life, you will always be working on your marriage.  You think you know the person you are with?  Check this out What You Absolutely Must Know About the One You Are With review to see if it can help you to find out how much you really do know about your spouse.

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Filed under Marriage : Comments (0) : Dec 13th, 2008

Should You Try to Save Your Marriage if These Problems Sound Familiar?

Every marriage, not just some marriages, but EVERY marriage has some sort of marriage problems that couples have to deal with. Generally they are trivial troubles that can simply be taken care of if the couple will acknowledge the problems and deal with them.

Here is some typical relationship challenges that most couples face that should never lead to the ending of a marriage.

Household differences: I have seen a large number of couples who have major marriage problems that root from a very simple difference about who should be doing what at the house. Yard work, trash, painting, and maintenance are generally thought of as “man’s work” but it doesn’t automatically have to be that way. Also cooking, cleaning, shopping, and taking care of the kids are considered the “woman’s job”, but again, that is not written in stone. Unquestionably there are things that each person does more superior or is more able to do than the other, but that doesn’t mean that individual can’t do one of the other tasks not “specified” for their gender. If this becomes a problem, you should take a seat and talk about it and decide who will do what, if that’s the only way you can resolve it. However, I’ve always thought the best idea to go by is “if it needs to be done, just do it”; don’t wait for the “expected” individual to do it.

Trust Issues: It’s imperative to remember that even though you are a married couple you are still two individual people with your individual interests and acquaintances. Just because you are married doesn’t mean you have to stop living. You should not have concerns about your partner spending time with friends outside of your house. Lack of trust will lead to suspicion and suspicion will lead to a sad marriage. Even after being married for awhile you may still be shocked about stuff you discover about your spouse. You might want to check out, the 1000 Questions for Couples review to help you discover things about your partner you might not by now be familiar with.

Feeling trapped: This is a very classic reaction for couples when they first get married; the happy-go-lucky life of being on your own has been changed with household tasks and house work, and a partner you believe you have to answer to. These kinds of senses can lead to resentment and spirited debates. It’s all about defining your position inside the marriage and how you fit it outside the home. It can be particularly hard for young couples who might be the earliest of their friends to get married. If this concern is not addressed and dealt with swiftly, it can lead to more serious marriage challenges . If you want to rescue your marriage and get passed these feelings of being trapped, I highly advise you read the Mastery Guide to Saving Your Marriage & Stopping Your Divorce Review for some incredibly helpful ideas about how to get through this rough spot in your marriage.

Fault-finding: These are those small disagreements that get blown out of proportion and cause bigger and heart felt spirited debates. The main concern here is with pride because neither partner wants to give up first and make an apology. I’ve seen far too many divorces occur due to a little difference that went over the edge. You have to learn to let go of your pride and realize that saying you’re sorry is a surprising event. Some individuals just don’t know how to make an apology; in cases like that, frequently it is best to have couples read The Magic of Making Up review to educate them the fine art of forgiveness and saying they’re sorry. You know, some of the best romantic periods come about after an apology; don’t forget about that.

Marriage is all about common experiences; it’s not about who is right and who is wrong. You’re both going to be wrong at one time or another so don’t forget, if you’re pointing the finger of blame right now, it’s bound to put back on your sooner or later. You should be concentrating on the good things and not spending so much on the trivial stuff. You have a long way to go and just because you might see signs of marriage troubles, it doesn’t mean your marriage is hopeless.

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Filed under Marriage : Comments (0) : Dec 2nd, 2008