Posts Tagged ‘relationship advice’

Getting Your Ex Back With A Deep Apology

Most of us never really learned much about how to apologize.  We all know how to say “I’m sorry” of course.  But beyond that, we don’t know what to do or say to seek forgiveness.  When you wronged your mate and want to get your ex back, just saying I’m sorry won’t cut it.

There is a free course you can download instantly on this at Getting Your Ex Back In Hours.

Fortunately, there are deeper levels of apologies that we never learned in school.  When you have lost your relationship and your love because you did something wrong to them, you will need to make a Power Apology.

A power apology has as many as 7 or eight steps to it.   A power apology is designed to get your ex from anger or hurt to acceptance and forgiveness in just hours or sometimes even minutes.  Power apologies should be taught in school, they are so useful in keeping relationships from ending.  Here are the steps to a Power Apology:

The first thing is to fess up to what you did.  Own up to it.  Admit it if you wronged your mate (there is a different process if your mate wronged you).  This is important because rather than excuses and explanations I was drunk, it didn’t mean anything! you let your ex know that you understand that you did them wrong.

The second thing is to mirror their hurt feelings.  You say something like “Hon, I know I made you feel betrayed and unloved and very say by cheating on you…”  This is a very powerful form of emotional intelligence.  When you mirror their hurt feelings, they will feel like you really do understand the impact of your actions.

The third thing is to let them vent and get their hurt feelings off their chest.  You listen and let them tell you how they feel about what you did.  You just want to make them feel heard and understood, so you listen and don’t defend or try to explain yourself.

To understand more about the power of venting, you can check out the information at a site on Relationship Intelligence.

If you have followed these first three steps, you are well on your way to making an apology that will get accepted and lead to forgiveness.  By this point you have not tried to blame or defend yourself to your ex for what you did wrong.  You have been an adult and taken responsibility.  At some level they will respect this.    Then you have surprised them by mirroring their feelings, so they are feeling like you understand them.  And finally, you have listened to them, let them vent and get things off their chest.

Now that you have done these things first, you can now say I’m sorry.  Rather than rush in with I’m sorry, if you wait til after you’ve followed the three prior steps your apology will be much more likely to be accepted.

Part 2 of this article discusses the steps to take after you’ve apologized, and it can be seen here at Get Ex Back Part 2.

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : May 21st, 2009

Getting Your Ex Back After You Did Something Wrong

conflict

Do you want to get your ex back after they dumped you for wronging them in some way?  Maybe you cheated on them or were too controlling or you fought and argued with them all the time.  At some point, they got fed up and dumped you.  You can learn more about resolving relationship conflict here.

Now you’ve learned a lesson or two.  You are sorry for what you’ve done.  You want them back.  The good news is that you can recover from the damage you caused the relationship and win them back, if you follow an emotionally powerful proven plan.  Plus, you don’t need to wait 30 days or longer to get your ex back, you can often repair the damage in hours. 

The first step to getting your ex back begins with owning up inside yourself to the fact that you wronged them.  You, yourself, by your actions, caused your mate enough emotional pain that they gave up on the whole possibility of your relationship.  You hurt them by what you did in such a way that they felt the only thing to do emotionally was to hit the eject button on you.

This first step is important because you know how we human beings are.  We like to place the blame for bad things outside ourselves.  We blame our ex or we blame the drinking or the stress or the loneliness for what we did.  We don’t want to accept responsibility for our bad behaviors.  You can get a complete system for Get Your Ex Back In Hours here.

The second step is to then admit this to your ex.  Don’t make excuses, dont try to explain, don’t say it didn’t mean anything.  Talk to your ex and fess up.  In your own words say I wronged you.  This is one of the most powerful things you can do.

Why is this important?  Because when someone hurts us we can’t start to forgive, usually, until we know that they own up to what they did.  If you cheated on your ex and say “it didn’t mean anything” then they will think you might do it again, because it wasn’t that big and meaningful an issue to you.  But if you own up, your ex can at least feel that you understand what you did wrong.

Until we know that our mate understands that cheating was wrong, or being too controlling was wrong, we aren’t ever going to be sure they won’t repeat the bad behavior.  And so we cant start to forgive.  If you want your ex to forgive make sure one of the first things out of your mouth, before you ever say Im sorry, is to say I wronged you!

So instead of beginning with endless I’m sorry’s, do something more powerful first.  Own up to yourself that you did them wrong, them admit it to them without excuses.  This is a good way to begin to fix the damage you caused and make way for them to consider taking you back.  Go here for a free course on Get Relationship Help.

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : May 21st, 2009

Making Up Fast With This Technique

relationship advice

The reason relationships end can be grouped into three categories.  You wronged your ex, they wronged you, or relationship drift.  This article deals with the first two reasons.  You can learn more about getting ex back here. 

If, for example, your ex cheated on you or you cheated on them, there is a very important strategy you can use to get them back that can work in hours instead of weeks or months.  This strategy is called venting.  Venting is when you or someone else gets things off their chest.  What does this have to do with getting your ex back fast?

Because their good feelings towards you have now been replaced by bad ones.  Hurt, anger, sadness.  That’s obvious.  So the question becomes, how can you help them to release those negative feelings besides wait six months to see if they get over it?  Is there a way to speed up the process of resolving negative feelings?

The way to resolve bad feelings fast is to vent them.  To get them off one’s chest.  If they cheated on you, you need to vent to them.  If you cheated on your ex, they have some negative feelings they will drag around for a long time unless you help them to vent.  To oversimplify, you call them up and ask them how they feel about what you did to them.  Then be silent and let them put their emotions into words and start getting them off their chest.  You can get a complete system for Get Ex Back Fast here that goes into detail.

Look at it like a balloon filling with the hot air of negative feelings.  You want to prick the balloon by inviting your ex to vent.  It’s not hard, but it takes a bit of practice.  You want to make them feel heard and understood.  You don’t argue or explain or defend yourself.

This same strategy works the other way if they wronged you.  If you want them back after, say, they cheated on you, you need to release your bad feelings about what they did before you can really take them back.  So you ask them to just listen and not defend while you vent.

You already know about this tool.  You’ve probably used it many times over a beer with a friend getting things off your chest about work or your personal life, for example.

Using the tool of venting to get your ex back, along with a few others, can allow you to clear the air and resolve your issues much more quickly.  Instead of waiting months hoping they get over it, you can usually get them back starting in just hours from now.  You can get a free course on How To Have Loving Marriage Help here.

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

Get Ex Back With No Begging

how to get your ex back

Once our ex dumps us, we can really start to miss them.  It hurts so much we can end up doing crazy things.  We can stalk them by phone, text, or in person.  We can say I’m sorry til we’re blue in the face to no avail.  And we can beg and plead for another chance.  You can learn more about how to get your ex back here.

Everyone likes a little begging, they like to feel really wanted and needed.  But just a little.  Why begging doesn’t work is because it doesn’t change the bad feelings they have about you.  Your ex split up with you because their positive feelings for you have been replaced by negative ones.

You can beg all you want, but it won’t change their negative feelings about you.  They may pity you for begging, but just see you as weak and it will confirm they made a good choice in dumping you.

What you should do instead of begging is to have a plan that won’t make you look weak and pitiable.  Your plan needs to have part that helps your ex to release and let go of the bad feelings they have about you or what you did that are keeping you apart.

There are several Immediate Reconnect Plans to follow depending on why you broke up.  Each one has several steps you can take to actually help them to release the bad feelings they have about you so they can get back to love.  Go here for a free course on How To Fix Relationship Problems.

A very good first step, if you wronged your mate, is to just admit or fess up to what you did that was wrong.  Do not try to justify your poor behavior with lame excuses.  Just fess up like an adult.

The next very important step is to let them get things off their chest.  Let them vent.  Ask them how they feel about whatever happened then LISTEN.  Listening to their feelings is what helps them to let go of their negativity.

There is a lot more to this strategy, but it will usually be a lot more powerful than begging and pleading with them to take you back.  You can take a free course on how to get your ex back in hours.  You can get a complete system about how to get your ex back here.

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

Get Ex Back In Less Than A Week

A lot of books on how to get your ex back basically say the same thing.  Wait 30 days or more and have no contact.  Then contact them again and see if they want to get together.  The hope is that after 30 days they will have gotten over their upset and lost their anger towards you.  You can get more getting back together info here.

This is based on the principle that time heals all wounds.  After four weeks or so, your ex won’t be angry anymore, and might even have started to miss you some.

The get your ex back by waiting 30 days approach can work in some situations.  And it can also backfire.  Your ex’s anger can fester and their heart can harden towards you.  And they might start seeing someone else, which will make it very hard to have them reattach their affections towards you.

To avoid these problems you will need a different approach.  Your specific approach will vary based on the reason you split up, but there are some general methods you can use to fix your relationship in hours not months.  Go here for a complete system on Get Relationship Advice.

Let’s say that you wronged your mate by cheating on them.  They kicked you out last week, saying they could never trust you again.  This is completely understandable.  They are mad, feel betrayed and hurt.  Of course they don’t want to be in a relationship with you. 

To get them back more quickly, you need to understand that feelings change.  In a month, maybe a year, they will get over and won’t be mad forever.

The second thing to understand is that you can help their feelings change.  This is the key to getting your ex back fast instead of waiting weeks.  You can help them to get over their negative feelings towards you.  There are a couple of ways of doing this.  One is with a certain kind of apology (yes, there are different kinds!) and another way is to let them vent or get the feelings off their chest.

Combine these two methods and you can often have a breakthrough in getting your ex back fast.  They can release their bad feelings and start to move towards wanting you back.  You can often get your ex back in hours or days if you apologize in a certain way and help them to vent their bad feelings.  You don’t need to wait months.  You can get a complete system for resolving relationship conflict here.

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

How To Win Your Ex Boyfriends Love Back Without Grudges

Do you concentrate on getting your ex boyfriend back all of the time?  If this is so there are probably plenty of queries bothering you. One of the 1st things girls wonder when they are considering getting back along with their boyfriend is if it is going to work this time. It is smart to be a little hesitant — particularly if things ended badly the 1st time.

Before you are taking any more steps, you want to appraise the relationship you used to have. If there had been totally any abuse at all ( oral or physical ), you must take actions to finish the relationship and all contact now. Even if you are feeling like the love is still there, it’s not worth feeling the pain.

In addition to abuse, relations can just be a bad match. The feelings of love might be there, or just the feeling of familiarity that draws people together. If you’re getting back together just because you are used to being together, or people ex boyfriend expect you to be, that is not a good reason! You need to get your ex boyfriend back because you are truly in love with one another, and because it is the best thing for both of you.

If you have determined that get your ex boyfriend back is the best course of action, it’s time to breathe a sigh of relief. The probabilities are fantastic that you were scared whilst you were split up. Thoughts of your own self-worth were probably very low, and you may have thought that you would never escape from the dark feelings.

It’s also time to let go of any guilt you feel over the breakup. If it was a specific action that was your fault, and that has been forgiven by him, it’s time to forgive yourself as well. The same holds true if it was he who did anything wrong. If you have swore to excuse him for whatever it was, it’s time to really do so!  Your relationship can’t grow if there are grudges and injured feelings all around.

This does not mean that things will instantly be back to business or that old issues will never creep up. It’s just crucial at this early stage in the game to take whatever steps you can take to stop the problem from becoming so giant that it causes you to wreck up all over again. Some couples will need to find analysis, whilst others will be fine to relish in the proven fact that they are back together, and can let those old feelings go.

With that having been said – congratulations! How to get my ex boyfriend back is totally the most difficult question in the complete world. If you aren’t to this point, but only dream of it, do whatever you can to read about and take the obligatory steps to win him into your arms for good.

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Filed under Dating : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

Help on How to Save a Relationship

Jim works long hours and Lisbet does not feel he is there for her. Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs?  Can this relationship be saved?  Should it be saved?  Here’s how to save a relationship.

First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving. While nearly every relationship can be saved with tough work, both parties must decide that they need to make it work. Because if a partner has opted out and does not need to choose back in, there’s not much that may be done.

Many folk stay in a relationship as it is convenient or remain in a wedding thanks to the youngsters. But that is not enough. How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties the relationship is worth saving.

Next, you should pin down the difficulty or issues in a relationship. One of the most important issues in how to save a relationship is that folks believe the indicators of the difficulty are the issue itself.

For example, many of us think an affair is an issue that causes break ups. Honestly , the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem. For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse. Whilst  the majority study the affair as the difficulty, the underlying root of the affair was the absence of intimacy in the first relationship. If you do not deal with the absence of intimacy, you could be in a position to keep another affair from beginning thru the application of guilt, but another problem ( as an example porn ) could pop up as you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to cope with core issues instead of symptoms, you are able to save the relationship.

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This implies both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your better half’s concerns. Hold your partner’s had when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling. When your better half talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she’s not doing it as she wants to break you. Rather it is really because they need to improve the relationship.

Once you have detailed the issues in your relationship, create an action plan to unravel them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you do not spend time together like you used to, plan a date night each week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday. .If not communicating is the difficulty, commit to spending twenty mins before heading off to bed just chatting to each other. And, then do it.

Finally, you must notice that saving a relationship is a continuing process. You’re going to take 2 steps forward only to take one step back. There’s going to be both laughter and tears going forward. Be fast to apologize and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving?  If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.

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Filed under Conflict : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

Relationship Advice For When You’re The Only One Trying

You can fix relationship problems even if you seem to be the only trying to change your relationship.  You can make your relationship better even if your mate doesn’t seem interested in changing anything at all.  There are many ways to accomplish this, but one is the 4 Step Quick Change Method. This is Love And Intimacy Help that makes a difference.

First Step:  Be specific about what you want to change.  What specifically would make the relationship better for you?  More quality time together?  More real communication?  Less conflict?

The first step to changing your relationship is to be as specific and concrete as you can about what it is that you want to change.  The more specific you are, the more likely you’ll be to get the change you want.

Step two is to then make a request of your partner.  Ask him or her for what you want, being specific about the change you seek.  Do not say “We don’t communicate, can we talk more?”  That won’t help your partner see exactly what you want to change in the area of communication. Good Relationship Advice can really help you make changes for the better.

Do say When we get home from work, can we spend some quality time talking about our day before we turn on the tv?  Be as specific as you can, that way you will more likely get what you want.

The Third Step:  You’ve made a specific request, so expect a specific answer.  Let your partner either say yes, no, or maybe.  Don’t let them ignore you.

Look, they may surprise you and just say yes if you have made an attractive offer or request.  Or they may want to counter-offer to talk while you go for an evening walk or whatever.  And they may say no, but if so, it’s okay.

Step Four is not to get stopped by a no.  You don’t need to have a big battle with them if they decline your request.  It’s not a request if they can’t say no, is it?  Sometimes a no will just be a delayed yes, where they start to do more of what you asked them later on.

And sometimes, their no will be authentic, and then you need to honor it and make your own choices.  But if they say no, you can always ask again tomorrow or next week, if it is important to you don’t just accept the first no, ask again, this can help them get to yes.

Fixing relationship problems when you are the only one trying isn’t easy.  This tool will help.  You can make things better with a little of the right kind of focus and effort. You can get more advice for relationships here.

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

Getting Your Ex Back Using Emotional Logic

Ok, you’ve fought, argued, broken up, and now you want to get your ex back.  Is there any relationship advice that will work? Learning some more about these topics can help: study intimacy more deeply can help in lots of ways.

When breaking up, what happens for everyone is that our feelings of closeness and connection with our partner get replaced by emotions like anger or betrayal.  This is why we fight and break up.  It’s just what happens to couples the world over.

But after a short while you started to have feelings of regret and you began to miss those feelings of softness and closeness you had with your mate.  What is happening is that your hurt and bad feelings are changing.  This is an important thing to note about emotions.  Angry, hurt feelings aren’t set in stone.  Feelings change.

You understand this from your own life experiences.  You’ve been mad at somebody at work and after a day or two the anger diminishes.  You’ve been sad about something that happened to you and again, after just a day or two, it goes away.  This is important Emotional Logic to notice.  Feelings shift and are in flux for all of us.

Now that you’ve broken up and you want your ex back, you have experienced this first hand.  During the break up, you were mad or hurt.  Now, you notice feelings of longing and desire return.  You’d like to give your relationship another chance.  This may seem like Im stating the obvious, but there is a very important point here to notice about emotions.  They change.

But while feelings change, some emotions can get stuck.  The can last a lot longer, can’t they?  If, for example, you cheated on your ex, this can bring up feelings of betrayal and shame.  These are very difficult emotions to process, and you ex may still be very stuck with them.  They aren’t shifting or changing very much at all!

How then can you use Emotional Logic to help you to get back with your ex?  One simple important thing you can do is to help them to get their negative feelings released and resolved. Help them to “vent” these feelings and get them off their chest.  You did this by asking them in varioius ways how they feel about whatever you did that triggered the break up.  “How are you feeling about what happened?”  Then be silent and let them start to vent or spill their hurt feelings out.  Listening is an important step in or to Get Ex Back In Just Hours.

Don’t argue.  Don’t defend yourself.  That just creates more argument.  Instead, make them feel heard and understood.  Ten minutes of venting can really help their negative feelings get released.   Letting your ex vent all over you a time or two after a break up can help them to let go of anger and move back towards more kindly feelings towards you.

There is a lot more to this, but helping your ex to vent their negative feelings is an important step to getting them back in your life.  Emotions change, and you want to help your ex through the process of changing their bad feelings for you into more intimate ones.

You can get a free course here about the specific steps to get your ex back

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

Best Tips For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Brace yourself, I am about to bare some robust systems on how to get an ex boyfriend back. These might even shock you because most ladies when attempting to get an ex boyfriend back fully ignore these. These type of break ups are hard to deal with. You won’t stop brooding about the situation and you’re going thru a consistent torture. The thing is that in most relations after they have stopped, both partners at the rear of their minds wish to get back together again.

I have put together some pointers for ladies who are lost as to how to get an ex boyfriend back, and these will definitely help you to get the ball rolling.

After a break it is ordinary to feel agonizing and  hurt. Don’t attempt to hide the pain you’re going through. If you are feeling like crying, cry to your heart’s content. Don’t try and suppress it, as by suppressing it you may throw yourself into a state of depression. By permitting yourself to cry, this can help you heal the discomfort extraordinarily quickly.

After the dust has settled a bit and you are clear in your judgement, sit down and have a think during the last events and attempt to identify what went incorrect. This may help you realize what were the problems that was the cause of break up, and you need to know that to get an ex boyfriend back. It will also bring to light as to whose fault it was, and if you feel that you had a more contributing role to the break up then this is your chance to put your hand up, accept that you made a mistake, and learn from it.

More often than not, break ups are due to certain character traits or bad habits. If you conclude that the break up was due to one of your characteristics or bad habits then this is your chance to see if you can change yourself or give up that certain bad habit.

If you feel that the break up was due to your ex boyfriend’s fault or one of his character traits or bad habits then take note of that and when you meet up you could raise this point and see what he has to say to this.

Many women refuse to act on this tip point blank. But if you are actually serious about find out how to get my ex boyfriend back then this one methodology can go a long way. And that is to pamper him and send him gifts, you may even want to tell him that you really miss him. But only do this when they are actively listening to you and the best time for this could be a few weeks after the break up.
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Filed under General : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

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