Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’

Relationship Advice For When You’re The Only One Trying

You can fix relationship problems even if you seem to be the only trying to change your relationship.  You can make your relationship better even if your mate doesn’t seem interested in changing anything at all.  There are many ways to accomplish this, but one is the 4 Step Quick Change Method. This is Love And Intimacy Help that makes a difference.

First Step:  Be specific about what you want to change.  What specifically would make the relationship better for you?  More quality time together?  More real communication?  Less conflict?

The first step to changing your relationship is to be as specific and concrete as you can about what it is that you want to change.  The more specific you are, the more likely you’ll be to get the change you want.

Step two is to then make a request of your partner.  Ask him or her for what you want, being specific about the change you seek.  Do not say “We don’t communicate, can we talk more?”  That won’t help your partner see exactly what you want to change in the area of communication. Good Relationship Advice can really help you make changes for the better.

Do say When we get home from work, can we spend some quality time talking about our day before we turn on the tv?  Be as specific as you can, that way you will more likely get what you want.

The Third Step:  You’ve made a specific request, so expect a specific answer.  Let your partner either say yes, no, or maybe.  Don’t let them ignore you.

Look, they may surprise you and just say yes if you have made an attractive offer or request.  Or they may want to counter-offer to talk while you go for an evening walk or whatever.  And they may say no, but if so, it’s okay.

Step Four is not to get stopped by a no.  You don’t need to have a big battle with them if they decline your request.  It’s not a request if they can’t say no, is it?  Sometimes a no will just be a delayed yes, where they start to do more of what you asked them later on.

And sometimes, their no will be authentic, and then you need to honor it and make your own choices.  But if they say no, you can always ask again tomorrow or next week, if it is important to you don’t just accept the first no, ask again, this can help them get to yes.

Fixing relationship problems when you are the only one trying isn’t easy.  This tool will help.  You can make things better with a little of the right kind of focus and effort. You can get more advice for relationships here.

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

Getting Your Ex Back Using Emotional Logic

Ok, you’ve fought, argued, broken up, and now you want to get your ex back.  Is there any relationship advice that will work? Learning some more about these topics can help: study intimacy more deeply can help in lots of ways.

When breaking up, what happens for everyone is that our feelings of closeness and connection with our partner get replaced by emotions like anger or betrayal.  This is why we fight and break up.  It’s just what happens to couples the world over.

But after a short while you started to have feelings of regret and you began to miss those feelings of softness and closeness you had with your mate.  What is happening is that your hurt and bad feelings are changing.  This is an important thing to note about emotions.  Angry, hurt feelings aren’t set in stone.  Feelings change.

You understand this from your own life experiences.  You’ve been mad at somebody at work and after a day or two the anger diminishes.  You’ve been sad about something that happened to you and again, after just a day or two, it goes away.  This is important Emotional Logic to notice.  Feelings shift and are in flux for all of us.

Now that you’ve broken up and you want your ex back, you have experienced this first hand.  During the break up, you were mad or hurt.  Now, you notice feelings of longing and desire return.  You’d like to give your relationship another chance.  This may seem like Im stating the obvious, but there is a very important point here to notice about emotions.  They change.

But while feelings change, some emotions can get stuck.  The can last a lot longer, can’t they?  If, for example, you cheated on your ex, this can bring up feelings of betrayal and shame.  These are very difficult emotions to process, and you ex may still be very stuck with them.  They aren’t shifting or changing very much at all!

How then can you use Emotional Logic to help you to get back with your ex?  One simple important thing you can do is to help them to get their negative feelings released and resolved. Help them to “vent” these feelings and get them off their chest.  You did this by asking them in varioius ways how they feel about whatever you did that triggered the break up.  “How are you feeling about what happened?”  Then be silent and let them start to vent or spill their hurt feelings out.  Listening is an important step in or to Get Ex Back In Just Hours.

Don’t argue.  Don’t defend yourself.  That just creates more argument.  Instead, make them feel heard and understood.  Ten minutes of venting can really help their negative feelings get released.   Letting your ex vent all over you a time or two after a break up can help them to let go of anger and move back towards more kindly feelings towards you.

There is a lot more to this, but helping your ex to vent their negative feelings is an important step to getting them back in your life.  Emotions change, and you want to help your ex through the process of changing their bad feelings for you into more intimate ones.

You can get a free course here about the specific steps to get your ex back

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

Having More Intimacy

Something that we all seem to want at core is intimacy.  That feeling of close connection with another or others.  It is a basic need that drives us to get into relationship or marriage.  Yet after we get into a relationship we find that intimacy can slip from our grasp and out of our love life.

For this and other good reasons, it is worthwhile to learn How To Have The Marriage You Want.

Over time, intimacy becomes something that often seems elusive and we struggle to try to get it or keep it.  Our intimacy needs can drive us to get a divorce, because if we aren’t feeling intimate with our mate, we know we have to search elsewhere for it. 

We all have intimacy needs.  These are hardwired into our systems.  Men and women have different approaches to getting their intimacy needs met.  You’ve heard the saying “Women give sex to get love, and men give love to get sex.”  This saying points to an underlying theme about sex in relationships.  

Men equate intimacy with sex.  One of the primary ways men go about getting their intimacy needs met is through sex.  When they feel the need to be close, they want sex.  After climax, they often retreat behind their walls until the intimacy need builds up and they want sex again.

While men are from mars, in this way, women are from venus.  They can enjoy intimacy and deep bonding from sex, and also from communication.  Women, in general, have more ways that they can experience and express intimacy.

You don’t have intimacy forever just because you felt it once with your mate.  You have to keep working on it.  Sex can’t be your only method for experiencing intimacy.  Familiarity and taking each other for granted can kill off intimacy.  Find out more about intimacy beyond sex.

A great way to have more intimacy is to talk to each other, but it is more in how you talk than what words you say.  If you listen to each other with real interest, and accept your mate and make them feel heard and understood, you will be more likely to experience it.

You can have more intimacy by practicing intimate communication.  This means to share yourself and listen from your heart, with interest in what your mate has to say and without judging them.  Making them feel heard and understood rather than taken for granted is a powerful way to promote more intimacy on a daily basis. Learn more about this in the free course How To Fix Relationship Problems.

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Filed under Love : Comments (0) : May 6th, 2009

3 Ways To Improve Your Relationship Today

You can really improve the quality of your relationship with a few simple practices.  Here are the top three tips you can put to use today to make your relationship even better.  More detailed information on all of this is available in a free relationship course 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Never Learned In School.

Top Secret Number One:  Play!  Actual relationship studies have shown that there is a decrease in fighting when there is an increase in playing.  So if you are fighting a lot, play more, and test this out for yourself.  Just a little bit of timea day of playing with your partner can begin to change the feel of your whole relationship.

So do you have a date night at least once a week where you both go spend time playing together like you did in the beginning?  Make the time to have fun with your mate!

Top Secret Number Two:  Get Better At Conflict.  Conflict will occur in any relationship.  Studies have shown that how partners deal with conflict determines the length and quality of the relationship.  During conflict we all tend to revert emotionally to 7 year olds, but screaming at your mate or expressing contempt are some of the big trouble signs for a partnership.

As you will be arguing with your love from time to time anyway, it is good to start now to take some time to learn how to deal with conflict in healthy ways.  One technique is to learn to attack less during a fight and use “I” statements rather than “you” statements to discuss how you feel.  You can get some free training on conflict and Emotional Intelligence here.

Top Secret Number Three is to Minimize the Mind Reading.  Your lover can’t read your mind.  They don’t actually just know what you want and need.  Realize this and help them out by asking for what you want.  If you need some time to yourself, ask.  If you need them to just listen instead of give you their advice, make a request for that as well.

By asking for what you need, you can prevent a lot of fights and sulking.You can also support your mate in making requests for what they need as well.  That’s being a good mate.

There is obviously a lot more to each of these three topics.  Books have been written on them.  But spending some time and effort on these three principles will pay off for your relationship over the long term.  If you’d like to learn more about Relationship Intelligence to transform your love life, you can fix relationship problems with a free course.

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : Apr 21st, 2009

Helpful Tips To Stop Your Divorce

If you are going through that terrible time when love is coming to an end and you find yourself saying, “Please stop my divorce“! you aren’t alone. There are many who have gone through it and saved their marriage and plenty who didn’t but found themselves happy again afterward. There are things that you can do to help stop a divorce or correct problems before they get to that point.

First realize, though, that as much as you may want to save your relationship you may not be able to. Make sure that you prepare yourself mentally for any possible outcome. This isn’t thinking pessimistically, it is being realistic which is what you need to be.

Seek out marriage counselors or make use of family therapy. They have been well trained and have lots of experience helping people go through these times. Even if someone has cheated on their spouse, they can still help. Many marriages have been saved because of counseling and therapy. They are accustomed to dealing with infidelity between spouses, depression, or any other things that stress a relationship to the point of divorce. Marriage counseling doesn’t have to be expensive, there are plenty of good choices for you to use to get good relationship advice before you see a divorce lawyer.

One thing that you should learn not to do that will help stop your divorce is don’t argue. Fighting will only make things worse. You can call it reasoning or whatever but the truth is you are trying to force them to feel differently than they do. If you are serious and you want to “stop your divorce” then realize that your battle is against your separation, not your spouse. The more you argue with them and try to point out where they are wrong the more they will be wrong in your mind.

Don’t try to defend yourself. You may be right, but don’t try to convince them of that. Find the truth in their argument and agree with that part of it. The more you can agree with the things they say, the more they will be right. This will make them see what you want them to do, see your side of the story. If you are honest and accept what they say then they will more likely be open to listening to your side of the story. Family therapy is great to help you understand how to communicate better if you really want to “stop your divorce”.”

This is only one part of the things that you can do to help when you are wanting someone to help you “stop my divorce“. Stop talking about it and start doing something about it. Your marriage will only have a chance to survive if you are willing to act.

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Filed under Divorce : Comments (0) : Apr 21st, 2009

Rebuild The Love in Your Marriage

Being married to the same person for years can lack excitement so may be a reason why an extra-marital relationship is entered into. These are some ideas you can use to rekindle the love in your relationship and make your partner want you more and more and still renew your first love.

Send them a special gift: using crayons, draw a bright childlike image of two stick figures holding hands. If your drawing isn’t faultless it doesn’t really matter, but show that you have put some effort into making it look nice and beautiful. You can draw a big heart and write a message inside it. Get a formal envelope, put your drawings inside it, seal it and type the address of your partner’s office like “For the Urgent and Instant Attention of Jennifer Miller, Floor 10, Peter and John Company, LA”. It should be received by your partner at her office in the middle of a tiring and challenging day.

In the warm twilight hours, spread a blanket on the floor, bring some chocolates, snacks and champagne and have a picnic. Lie down on the blanket and gaze at the stars as both of you enjoy the snacks, chocolates and champagne.

Your partner will be astounded if you deliver a long stemmed rose to her door.A message such as “You mean everything to me” could be affixed to it.

Promise your partner a massage: Purchase some massage oil, a small decorated cardboard box, a sheet of colored tissue paper and a blank card. Tissue paper can be placed in the box. Write your phone number on a blank card and write “Massage provided, please call me”.

Bring back childhood memories: Take a walk together in the park and encourage your partner to sit on a swing.

During the summer, buy two big water pistols and take them along with you to the beach. Pull them out into the water, give one to your partner and both of you should have a big water fight.

Determine whether there was something she’s always wanted when she was a little girl. Let this be her present from you on her birthday.

If you find this article helpful you will also find impact of divorce on children educational.

 

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Filed under Marriage : Comments (0) : Mar 31st, 2009

How can you save amarriage in trouble?

To fix any trouble in a marriage you need to understand the problem and then work to control the situation.
It might be embarrassing for a couple in both their personal and social status to take a harsh decision.

It doesn’t matter whether you are man or woman, whether you look after the kids or pay the bills, you should take initiative to resolve the problems in married life and maintain the relationships.
This article provides information about some tips to save a marriage and to maintain a healthy relationship.

Desperation and tension are two things to avoid showing if your marriage is in danger.
Your spouse may push you away as it may make him/her feel suffocated
Always try to control your emotions and keep calm.
Many times people starting thinking how to stop a breakup when in fact they should have started asking how to improve their relationship in first place.
Never bed for the return for your partner that is a very important thing to remember.
If you show him/her just how deep your passion goes for them, they will come back to you.
One of the important tips to save marriage is to give the space to your partner.
A little space may make the things much easier to deal with.
Leave yourself the time to indulge in activities that empower you and increase your self-esteem.
Spend some time with your friends and family.
Do such things that increase your self-esteem.

It’s worth putting in the effort to find some common ground, where each partners can agree on things and feel satisfied.
Focus on the fact that the ideal of any union in marriage is to assist and support each other through the whole gamut of emotions.
The important bridge that may keep the couple attached together in a married life is love.
Show your passion to your partner in a new way everyday.
To form a closer connection to your partner you can play romantic games or send a romantic message to them.

An important part of rescuing any partnership is that the two partners understand each other as well as they can.
Only when you have managed this will you be about to solve problems in your marriage without conflicts
Your partner should be the first priority for you and you should know about the hobbies and interests of your partner.
There are many ways to be romantic. Writing a poem, preparing a meal or a thoughtful gift.

Unimportant things don’t matter, if it is a small issue to complain about it.
You need to speak openly about any issues which are disturbing your peace of mind.
Have open discussions about it with your partner.
Get ready for facing the challenges.

Jealousy may lead many couples to the divorce court.
So, never be jealous about your partner’s professional and personal growth.
A strong belief in your partner and honesty are very important things.

If your partner is aggressive, you should be calm and keep your emotions in control.
Be reasonable, rational and calm.
Whenever you lose your temper during the arguments, you generally tend to say and do the things that you actually didn’t mean.

If your marriage is going bad, these tips to save marriage might be useful to bring it back to its previous loving partnership.
Consider these tips before you start thinking about marriage counseling which would get a third person involved in your relationship..

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Filed under Marriage : Comments (0) : Dec 4th, 2008

Online Dating The Easy Way

Online Dating Tips

Tips on How to Find a Date Online

Love is in the air and more on the screen. This is because online dating has continually dominated the world of information technology.

Approximately 40 million American singles are making use of online dating. That’s approximately half of the current singles number population of America based on the reports of the Bureau of Statistics.

However, in spite of the growing number of people who are getting hooked up with online dating, one fact remains the same: Most people are having a hard time finding dates online.

Therefore, for people who wish to know some tips on how to get a date online, here’s how:

1. One’s profile really matters.

People who are into online dating should always keep this in mind: The success of getting a date online centers on a remarkable profile. It’s the sole way to give others information about you that they will find attractive and compelling. 

2. Photos do speak a thousand words

Alongside a good profile, good photographs can do wonders too. Surveys show that almost 95% of people who are searching for somebody to date look at the pictures first. The number one concern of dating, after all, physical attraction.

3. Fun! Fun! Fun!

Many of us hooked up to online dating services because we want to have fun. In fact, most people want to hang around with others whom they find funny or are fun to be with. 

4. There is no place in online dating sites for copycats have no p.

It’s best to maintain originality and individuality for a person to be successful in getting a date online.

After all, these matchmaking sites have millions of members and these numbers are continuously on the rise. Therefore, the probability of getting a date online is pretty much a given if you search correctly. 

So, what’s the bottom line? Success getting a date online is entirely dependent on you, your profile, and the way you project yourself on screen.

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Filed under Dating : Comments (0) : Oct 2nd, 2008

How To Save Your Relationship After Cheating

To read an updated version and to get the most out of your relationships check out love and relationship advice.

Cheating of one or both partners can strongly affect your martial relationship. An extra-marital affair is a heart-breaking and embarrassing situation for both the partners and indicates the failure of companionship and married life. The most important base of any marriage is trust and faith which may get weakened due to the extra-marital affair.

It may give rise to the marital problems like conflicts and bitterness which then crosses the limits and can result in a separation. However, separation is a very painful and stressful situation for both the partners; so you should try to save your relationships after cheating.

It may be very painful and hurting for you if you come to know that your partner is cheating you. But, don’t get frustrated or panic at such situations, remain calm and try to control the situation. Think about how you can handle this situation and find out the ways to save your relationship after cheating.

It is quite obvious that you get angry with your partner, but it’s better to stay calm and try to discover why your partner is cheating you. In most cases, the reason of cheating is not that the partner who is cheating has no emotional feelings, but it may be due to his/her physical need. In such situations, you could grab the attention of your partner with your intense love.

Whatever may be the reason of cheating, ‘forgive and forget’ is an important key factor to save your relationships after cheating. When you discover that you have been cheated by your partner, talk to him/her about it openly and find out if he/she is willing to save the marriage and try to understand your partner’s approach about it. Express your love for your partner and make him/her know how much you need him/her. If you get the positive response from your partner, then try to forgive him/her and say ‘Let’s make a new start’.

If you are able to develope a deep love for each other, then this problem can easily be solved. The important step you should take to save your relationship after cheating is to find out your drawbacks and mistakes. Take efforts to improve your personality and behavior and avoid doing the things by which your partner gets hurt.

Plan to go on vacation with your partner and go for outings. Give time for each other, improve the communication between you, try to find out the differences between you and overcome them.

If you are the one who is cheating, then you should equally contribute and take efforts to save the marriage. You should promise to end your affair and to be loyal with your partner. Your body language is very important when you are saying ‘sorry’ to your partner.

If your partner is ready to forgive you and forget the bitterness, you should respond him/her in a positive way. You should also express your deep love for your partner and make him/her know how much you need your partner and how incomplete you are without him/her. This will definitely work and you will be able to reignite love in your partner’s mind.

When both of you take the efforts to save your relationships after cheating, you will be successful to improve your relationships and live happily together.

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : Sep 30th, 2008

Great Tips to Save A Marriage And Live A Happy Married Life

To read an updated version and to get the most out of your relationships check out love and relationship advice.

In this article I’m going to share 5 ways to save a marriage. Marriage is one of the happiest and memorable moments in our lives. It is a union of not only two individuals, but also of two different upbringings and cultures. After a cheerful start of married life, there might be a possibility or beginning of some conflicts. These conflicts may be due to some misunderstandings, ego or any other personal problems. Sometimes the bitterness in the relationship crosses the tolerance level that the couples think about separating.

However, a divorce affects the personal and social lives of both the partners. You will be surprised to know that your marriage problems can be fixed. Here are 5 ways to save a marriage that can be effectively implemented in your married life.

The first step to resolve your marriage problems is to agree that they exist. You should be honest with yourself, should be able to identify the differences in your relationship and try to improve them. If you try to walk away from the issues, they will never be solved. Accept the situation as it is and be prepared for the challenges that may lie ahead.

Keep in mind that you cannot fight the enemy that you cannot see. This philosophy is definitely true in case of marriages. If you have the feeling that your husband has changed the way of interaction, then find out the reasons behind it. The best solution is to start the conversation with your spouse and give him several opportunities to ‘open up’. Don’t forget to keep your ears and mind open for the subtle hints from his conversation.

Saving the marriage is not merely solving the problems. Reigniting your love for each other is one of the most effective 5 ways to save a marriage. You could also express your passion for your partner with special dates or surprises. Remember the most romantic times you spent together and just recreate them with an addition of a unique approach.

Give some time for each other to share the feelings. The purpose is to grab the attention of your partner and to make your relationship healthy with natural attraction. If you are able to bring back the passion for each other, then other problems can easily be solved.

There may be a lot of obstacles when you are trying to fix the relationships. It might be difficult for you to communicate with your husband or you may be facing outside pressures from the family which may prevent you to focus on your goals. Even after facing these barriers, you should be persistent on your aims. If one approach doesn’t work, you can try another approach that may work. You should be able to handle the conflicts safely.

One of the important steps is to seek the right advice from your friends and family. You should try to get an expert advice from counseling sessions or books before you take any major decision. A wise advice can save a marriage, while bad advice may ruin it.

Knowing about 5 ways to save a marriage, you would be able to resolve the problems if any in your marriage and live a happy married life.

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : Sep 29th, 2008

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