Posts Tagged ‘love relationships’
Getting Your Ex Back With A Deep Apology
Most of us never really learned much about how to apologize. We all know how to say “I’m sorry” of course. But beyond that, we don’t know what to do or say to seek forgiveness. When you wronged your mate and want to get your ex back, just saying I’m sorry won’t cut it.
There is a free course you can download instantly on this at Getting Your Ex Back In Hours.
Fortunately, there are deeper levels of apologies that we never learned in school. When you have lost your relationship and your love because you did something wrong to them, you will need to make a Power Apology.
A power apology has as many as 7 or eight steps to it. A power apology is designed to get your ex from anger or hurt to acceptance and forgiveness in just hours or sometimes even minutes. Power apologies should be taught in school, they are so useful in keeping relationships from ending. Here are the steps to a Power Apology:
The first thing is to fess up to what you did. Own up to it. Admit it if you wronged your mate (there is a different process if your mate wronged you). This is important because rather than excuses and explanations I was drunk, it didn’t mean anything! you let your ex know that you understand that you did them wrong.
The second thing is to mirror their hurt feelings. You say something like “Hon, I know I made you feel betrayed and unloved and very say by cheating on you…” This is a very powerful form of emotional intelligence. When you mirror their hurt feelings, they will feel like you really do understand the impact of your actions.
The third thing is to let them vent and get their hurt feelings off their chest. You listen and let them tell you how they feel about what you did. You just want to make them feel heard and understood, so you listen and don’t defend or try to explain yourself.
To understand more about the power of venting, you can check out the information at a site on Relationship Intelligence.
If you have followed these first three steps, you are well on your way to making an apology that will get accepted and lead to forgiveness. By this point you have not tried to blame or defend yourself to your ex for what you did wrong. You have been an adult and taken responsibility. At some level they will respect this. Then you have surprised them by mirroring their feelings, so they are feeling like you understand them. And finally, you have listened to them, let them vent and get things off their chest.
Now that you have done these things first, you can now say I’m sorry. Rather than rush in with I’m sorry, if you wait til after you’ve followed the three prior steps your apology will be much more likely to be accepted.
Part 2 of this article discusses the steps to take after you’ve apologized, and it can be seen here at Get Ex Back Part 2.
Tags: Conflict, get ex back, Love, love relationships, Marriage, relationship advice, relationships
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May 21st, 2009
Get Ex Back With No Begging
Once our ex dumps us, we can really start to miss them. It hurts so much we can end up doing crazy things. We can stalk them by phone, text, or in person. We can say I’m sorry til we’re blue in the face to no avail. And we can beg and plead for another chance. You can learn more about how to get your ex back here.
Everyone likes a little begging, they like to feel really wanted and needed. But just a little. Why begging doesn’t work is because it doesn’t change the bad feelings they have about you. Your ex split up with you because their positive feelings for you have been replaced by negative ones.
You can beg all you want, but it won’t change their negative feelings about you. They may pity you for begging, but just see you as weak and it will confirm they made a good choice in dumping you.
What you should do instead of begging is to have a plan that won’t make you look weak and pitiable. Your plan needs to have part that helps your ex to release and let go of the bad feelings they have about you or what you did that are keeping you apart.
There are several Immediate Reconnect Plans to follow depending on why you broke up. Each one has several steps you can take to actually help them to release the bad feelings they have about you so they can get back to love. Go here for a free course on How To Fix Relationship Problems.
A very good first step, if you wronged your mate, is to just admit or fess up to what you did that was wrong. Do not try to justify your poor behavior with lame excuses. Just fess up like an adult.
The next very important step is to let them get things off their chest. Let them vent. Ask them how they feel about whatever happened then LISTEN. Listening to their feelings is what helps them to let go of their negativity.
There is a lot more to this strategy, but it will usually be a lot more powerful than begging and pleading with them to take you back. You can take a free course on how to get your ex back in hours. You can get a complete system about how to get your ex back here.
Tags: Affairs, Conflict, get ex back, love relationships, Marriage, relationship advice, relationship help
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May 10th, 2009
Having More Intimacy
Something that we all seem to want at core is intimacy. That feeling of close connection with another or others. It is a basic need that drives us to get into relationship or marriage. Yet after we get into a relationship we find that intimacy can slip from our grasp and out of our love life.
For this and other good reasons, it is worthwhile to learn How To Have The Marriage You Want.
Over time, intimacy becomes something that often seems elusive and we struggle to try to get it or keep it. Our intimacy needs can drive us to get a divorce, because if we aren’t feeling intimate with our mate, we know we have to search elsewhere for it.
We all have intimacy needs. These are hardwired into our systems. Men and women have different approaches to getting their intimacy needs met. You’ve heard the saying “Women give sex to get love, and men give love to get sex.” This saying points to an underlying theme about sex in relationships.
Men equate intimacy with sex. One of the primary ways men go about getting their intimacy needs met is through sex. When they feel the need to be close, they want sex. After climax, they often retreat behind their walls until the intimacy need builds up and they want sex again.
While men are from mars, in this way, women are from venus. They can enjoy intimacy and deep bonding from sex, and also from communication. Women, in general, have more ways that they can experience and express intimacy.
You don’t have intimacy forever just because you felt it once with your mate. You have to keep working on it. Sex can’t be your only method for experiencing intimacy. Familiarity and taking each other for granted can kill off intimacy. Find out more about intimacy beyond sex.
A great way to have more intimacy is to talk to each other, but it is more in how you talk than what words you say. If you listen to each other with real interest, and accept your mate and make them feel heard and understood, you will be more likely to experience it.
You can have more intimacy by practicing intimate communication. This means to share yourself and listen from your heart, with interest in what your mate has to say and without judging them. Making them feel heard and understood rather than taken for granted is a powerful way to promote more intimacy on a daily basis. Learn more about this in the free course How To Fix Relationship Problems.
Tags: Conflict, intimacy, love relationships, Marriage, relationship help, relationships
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May 6th, 2009
