Posts Tagged ‘Love’

Getting Your Ex Back With A Deep Apology

Most of us never really learned much about how to apologize.  We all know how to say “I’m sorry” of course.  But beyond that, we don’t know what to do or say to seek forgiveness.  When you wronged your mate and want to get your ex back, just saying I’m sorry won’t cut it.

There is a free course you can download instantly on this at Getting Your Ex Back In Hours.

Fortunately, there are deeper levels of apologies that we never learned in school.  When you have lost your relationship and your love because you did something wrong to them, you will need to make a Power Apology.

A power apology has as many as 7 or eight steps to it.   A power apology is designed to get your ex from anger or hurt to acceptance and forgiveness in just hours or sometimes even minutes.  Power apologies should be taught in school, they are so useful in keeping relationships from ending.  Here are the steps to a Power Apology:

The first thing is to fess up to what you did.  Own up to it.  Admit it if you wronged your mate (there is a different process if your mate wronged you).  This is important because rather than excuses and explanations I was drunk, it didn’t mean anything! you let your ex know that you understand that you did them wrong.

The second thing is to mirror their hurt feelings.  You say something like “Hon, I know I made you feel betrayed and unloved and very say by cheating on you…”  This is a very powerful form of emotional intelligence.  When you mirror their hurt feelings, they will feel like you really do understand the impact of your actions.

The third thing is to let them vent and get their hurt feelings off their chest.  You listen and let them tell you how they feel about what you did.  You just want to make them feel heard and understood, so you listen and don’t defend or try to explain yourself.

To understand more about the power of venting, you can check out the information at a site on Relationship Intelligence.

If you have followed these first three steps, you are well on your way to making an apology that will get accepted and lead to forgiveness.  By this point you have not tried to blame or defend yourself to your ex for what you did wrong.  You have been an adult and taken responsibility.  At some level they will respect this.    Then you have surprised them by mirroring their feelings, so they are feeling like you understand them.  And finally, you have listened to them, let them vent and get things off their chest.

Now that you have done these things first, you can now say I’m sorry.  Rather than rush in with I’m sorry, if you wait til after you’ve followed the three prior steps your apology will be much more likely to be accepted.

Part 2 of this article discusses the steps to take after you’ve apologized, and it can be seen here at Get Ex Back Part 2.

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : May 21st, 2009

Relationship Help – Don’t Lose True Love

Everyone wants true love.  Songs are written about it.  Movies are made about it.  The idea seems to be that there is a true love out there and until we find it we can’t live happily ever after.  You can get Marriage Guidance about this here.

And, when we find it, it’s great.  We feel totally loved and in love.  We are in bliss at times.  We love everything about them.  But, unfortunately, only for a while. 

After about six months or so we find that the feeling of true love begins to fade some.  We start to have little arguments and conflicts.  We notice we want a little space or we get hurt that our mate wants some space.  What happened to true love. Is it lost?

No, we haven’t lost true love.  It just changes, and it will change for all of us!  Psychologists have found that relationships occur in phases.  The first initial period of a relationship is called the “oceanic love” period.  This is when we are totally merged.  We love everything about them.  It is marvelous!

But all good things come to an end, and research says that after six months or thereabouts we begin to move into the me-us phase.  We start to separate some.  We want our own space or feel hurt by our mate wanting theirs.  We begin to have a few conflicts.  We feel the need to have our own friends or work on our own interests and goals some.  This is normal.  You can get Get Relationship Advice about this here.

Look.  If we didn’t start to separate from our partners, we’d become a dysfunctional mess.  We each have to continue to take our journey’s in life.  We have to move forward with our own goals and interests.  We can’t just stay in bed with our lovers and play.  Life beckons us onward.

So if you want to keep true love in your life, understand this:  Don’t give up on love because you move out of the oceanic love phase.  Love is bigger than that.  Physical attraction is just one part that will rise and fall.  True love means learning to love the whole person, the parts you think are good and the parts you don’t like so much.

To keep true love, you have to learn that conflict is okay.  It will happen.  True love includes some conflict between two healthy normal adults with their own lives and interests.  True love includes them needing their own space and not running when things get uncomfortable from time to time.  It includes working things out.  This is the only way you’ll ever get to keep it.  You can get more How To Get Relationship Intelligence here.

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Filed under Love : Comments (0) : May 21st, 2009

How To Win Your Ex Boyfriends Love Back Without Grudges

Do you concentrate on getting your ex boyfriend back all of the time?  If this is so there are probably plenty of queries bothering you. One of the 1st things girls wonder when they are considering getting back along with their boyfriend is if it is going to work this time. It is smart to be a little hesitant — particularly if things ended badly the 1st time.

Before you are taking any more steps, you want to appraise the relationship you used to have. If there had been totally any abuse at all ( oral or physical ), you must take actions to finish the relationship and all contact now. Even if you are feeling like the love is still there, it’s not worth feeling the pain.

In addition to abuse, relations can just be a bad match. The feelings of love might be there, or just the feeling of familiarity that draws people together. If you’re getting back together just because you are used to being together, or people ex boyfriend expect you to be, that is not a good reason! You need to get your ex boyfriend back because you are truly in love with one another, and because it is the best thing for both of you.

If you have determined that get your ex boyfriend back is the best course of action, it’s time to breathe a sigh of relief. The probabilities are fantastic that you were scared whilst you were split up. Thoughts of your own self-worth were probably very low, and you may have thought that you would never escape from the dark feelings.

It’s also time to let go of any guilt you feel over the breakup. If it was a specific action that was your fault, and that has been forgiven by him, it’s time to forgive yourself as well. The same holds true if it was he who did anything wrong. If you have swore to excuse him for whatever it was, it’s time to really do so!  Your relationship can’t grow if there are grudges and injured feelings all around.

This does not mean that things will instantly be back to business or that old issues will never creep up. It’s just crucial at this early stage in the game to take whatever steps you can take to stop the problem from becoming so giant that it causes you to wreck up all over again. Some couples will need to find analysis, whilst others will be fine to relish in the proven fact that they are back together, and can let those old feelings go.

With that having been said – congratulations! How to get my ex boyfriend back is totally the most difficult question in the complete world. If you aren’t to this point, but only dream of it, do whatever you can to read about and take the obligatory steps to win him into your arms for good.

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Filed under Dating : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

Relationship Advice-Stopping Conflict

Conflict can kill a marriage over time.  So it pays off to learn how to reduce conflict and to learn to argue in a healthy way.  Shows like Dr Phil and lots of books and courses can teach you to fight fair and to minimize the damage conflict causes to your marriage. This kind of Relationship Advice can make a difference.

You really can improve the quality of your marriage by learning how to deal with conflict in positive rather than negative ways.  It is worth paying attention to.  However, is there a way to stop conflict before it ever begins?  Is there a way to stop fighting at the source?

There is a way to minimize fighting and stop it at its source.  This strategy is a secret that no one talks about even though it is staring us right in the face.  The way to stop marital conflict before it starts is to PLAY more with your spouse!

Play is the secret weapon against conflict!  The more play in your marriage, the less conflict.  Remember at the start of your relationship?  You played all the time with your partner.  You had sex, went to dinner, danced, had lots of sexual activity.  In the falling in love stage there was lots more playing than fighting.  Playing like this is a the way to get How To Get Relationship Help that can make things better.

But then time passes and we get married.  We have jobs and responsibilities and burdens and kids.  Over time the play can begin to disappear from our marriage.  And then the fighting and conflict will begin to increase.

So try this simple experiment for the next few weeks.  Start to play with your mate more.  Have at least one date night a week.  Besides that, plan two other times a week where you play for at least half an hour.  Play in a way that you both enjoy.  Could just be walking around the lake, or playing a board game, or whatever.  Add some play back in to your marriage on purpose and see what happens.

Increasing the play in your marriage will reduce the conflict.  It may be difficult at first, if you’ve gotten out of the habit with each other, but it is fun to change that habit.  So spend a little time planning to play and see for yourself how much conflict begins to diminish between you using this little secret.  You can get more relationship help of this kind here.

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Filed under Conflict : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

Relationship Advice For When You’re The Only One Trying

You can fix relationship problems even if you seem to be the only trying to change your relationship.  You can make your relationship better even if your mate doesn’t seem interested in changing anything at all.  There are many ways to accomplish this, but one is the 4 Step Quick Change Method. This is Love And Intimacy Help that makes a difference.

First Step:  Be specific about what you want to change.  What specifically would make the relationship better for you?  More quality time together?  More real communication?  Less conflict?

The first step to changing your relationship is to be as specific and concrete as you can about what it is that you want to change.  The more specific you are, the more likely you’ll be to get the change you want.

Step two is to then make a request of your partner.  Ask him or her for what you want, being specific about the change you seek.  Do not say “We don’t communicate, can we talk more?”  That won’t help your partner see exactly what you want to change in the area of communication. Good Relationship Advice can really help you make changes for the better.

Do say When we get home from work, can we spend some quality time talking about our day before we turn on the tv?  Be as specific as you can, that way you will more likely get what you want.

The Third Step:  You’ve made a specific request, so expect a specific answer.  Let your partner either say yes, no, or maybe.  Don’t let them ignore you.

Look, they may surprise you and just say yes if you have made an attractive offer or request.  Or they may want to counter-offer to talk while you go for an evening walk or whatever.  And they may say no, but if so, it’s okay.

Step Four is not to get stopped by a no.  You don’t need to have a big battle with them if they decline your request.  It’s not a request if they can’t say no, is it?  Sometimes a no will just be a delayed yes, where they start to do more of what you asked them later on.

And sometimes, their no will be authentic, and then you need to honor it and make your own choices.  But if they say no, you can always ask again tomorrow or next week, if it is important to you don’t just accept the first no, ask again, this can help them get to yes.

Fixing relationship problems when you are the only one trying isn’t easy.  This tool will help.  You can make things better with a little of the right kind of focus and effort. You can get more advice for relationships here.

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

Getting Your Ex Back Using Emotional Logic

Ok, you’ve fought, argued, broken up, and now you want to get your ex back.  Is there any relationship advice that will work? Learning some more about these topics can help: study intimacy more deeply can help in lots of ways.

When breaking up, what happens for everyone is that our feelings of closeness and connection with our partner get replaced by emotions like anger or betrayal.  This is why we fight and break up.  It’s just what happens to couples the world over.

But after a short while you started to have feelings of regret and you began to miss those feelings of softness and closeness you had with your mate.  What is happening is that your hurt and bad feelings are changing.  This is an important thing to note about emotions.  Angry, hurt feelings aren’t set in stone.  Feelings change.

You understand this from your own life experiences.  You’ve been mad at somebody at work and after a day or two the anger diminishes.  You’ve been sad about something that happened to you and again, after just a day or two, it goes away.  This is important Emotional Logic to notice.  Feelings shift and are in flux for all of us.

Now that you’ve broken up and you want your ex back, you have experienced this first hand.  During the break up, you were mad or hurt.  Now, you notice feelings of longing and desire return.  You’d like to give your relationship another chance.  This may seem like Im stating the obvious, but there is a very important point here to notice about emotions.  They change.

But while feelings change, some emotions can get stuck.  The can last a lot longer, can’t they?  If, for example, you cheated on your ex, this can bring up feelings of betrayal and shame.  These are very difficult emotions to process, and you ex may still be very stuck with them.  They aren’t shifting or changing very much at all!

How then can you use Emotional Logic to help you to get back with your ex?  One simple important thing you can do is to help them to get their negative feelings released and resolved. Help them to “vent” these feelings and get them off their chest.  You did this by asking them in varioius ways how they feel about whatever you did that triggered the break up.  “How are you feeling about what happened?”  Then be silent and let them start to vent or spill their hurt feelings out.  Listening is an important step in or to Get Ex Back In Just Hours.

Don’t argue.  Don’t defend yourself.  That just creates more argument.  Instead, make them feel heard and understood.  Ten minutes of venting can really help their negative feelings get released.   Letting your ex vent all over you a time or two after a break up can help them to let go of anger and move back towards more kindly feelings towards you.

There is a lot more to this, but helping your ex to vent their negative feelings is an important step to getting them back in your life.  Emotions change, and you want to help your ex through the process of changing their bad feelings for you into more intimate ones.

You can get a free course here about the specific steps to get your ex back

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

Best Tips For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Brace yourself, I am about to bare some robust systems on how to get an ex boyfriend back. These might even shock you because most ladies when attempting to get an ex boyfriend back fully ignore these. These type of break ups are hard to deal with. You won’t stop brooding about the situation and you’re going thru a consistent torture. The thing is that in most relations after they have stopped, both partners at the rear of their minds wish to get back together again.

I have put together some pointers for ladies who are lost as to how to get an ex boyfriend back, and these will definitely help you to get the ball rolling.

After a break it is ordinary to feel agonizing and  hurt. Don’t attempt to hide the pain you’re going through. If you are feeling like crying, cry to your heart’s content. Don’t try and suppress it, as by suppressing it you may throw yourself into a state of depression. By permitting yourself to cry, this can help you heal the discomfort extraordinarily quickly.

After the dust has settled a bit and you are clear in your judgement, sit down and have a think during the last events and attempt to identify what went incorrect. This may help you realize what were the problems that was the cause of break up, and you need to know that to get an ex boyfriend back. It will also bring to light as to whose fault it was, and if you feel that you had a more contributing role to the break up then this is your chance to put your hand up, accept that you made a mistake, and learn from it.

More often than not, break ups are due to certain character traits or bad habits. If you conclude that the break up was due to one of your characteristics or bad habits then this is your chance to see if you can change yourself or give up that certain bad habit.

If you feel that the break up was due to your ex boyfriend’s fault or one of his character traits or bad habits then take note of that and when you meet up you could raise this point and see what he has to say to this.

Many women refuse to act on this tip point blank. But if you are actually serious about find out how to get my ex boyfriend back then this one methodology can go a long way. And that is to pamper him and send him gifts, you may even want to tell him that you really miss him. But only do this when they are actively listening to you and the best time for this could be a few weeks after the break up.
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Filed under General : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

How To Win Your Ex Boyfriends Love Back

Need to get your ex boyfriend back but feel completely helpless? Going thru a split with somebody you love dearly isn’t simple. Trust me, I went thru that. The hurt, solitude, the distrust, the fury are some of the emotions we grapple with. However, regardless of how he disappoint you, you need him to return. Does that sound like you?

Here are a few proven to work and timeless secrets people have used to cope with their breakups, and how to move on. By all means, use it to get your ex boyfriend back and end this unhappy episode of your life.

1. Mourning the Loss

While it sounds exaggerating, it is not. Mavens and therapists have long found out that breaking up with a partner can hurt as much as losing a friend or family member thru death. Cry and mourn for a short whilst to permit your heart to recover. Help yourself in this period by eating, sleeping well and exercising constantly. Get emotional support from friends.

2. Guage the Breakup

Why should you do that? It does not matter if you like to move on or need to find out how to get an ex boyfriend back. In the previous, it brings closure to the relationship. In the latter, it gives you an idea to take a look at the relationship objectively.

The breakup can be due to several reasons. No-one is a hundred percent right or incorrect. That incorporates the case if an affair is involved.

3. Resolve the Root Issue

Once you figure out the root problem, it is time to look at how you can resolve the issue for good. You could need to modify something about yourself that he doesn’t like. Or it could be the case of you accepting him in spite of his many flaws.

It is also as the 2 of you’ve been strong-headed about certain issues and refuse to come to a compromise. Other common relationship breakers include permitting the fervour and like to die off and permitting routine and boredom to set in and an affair. One giant issue isn’t giving space to your boyfriend. Everyone wants to get away for a while.

Most of the issues can be worked out successfully. Doesn’t that give you more guarantee and hope that you can get your ex boyfriend back successfully.

4. Boost His Confidence

Like it or not, men generally have a bigger ego than women. It is completely standard. Since they are made to be stronger physically, being confounded in a relationship or even failing in one can put a dent on their confidence. Women , you’ll have to eat a little bit of humble pie by murmuring sweet nothings to him. Say sorry if you are genuinely at fault and sincere. Let him know how much you missed him when he’s not around and how glorious he was. You will get your ex boyfriend back quicker than you imagine.
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Filed under Conflict : Comments (0) : May 6th, 2009

How To Work Through Relationship Troubles

First, if you were the one who made the decision to end the relationship and now you wonder, how can I stop my breakup? You should realize that you’re in a much better position than most people trying to save their relationships. You will need to swallow your pride and go to your other half with an apology. Explain that you acted hastily and that now you regret it. Explain that you no longer want the breakup, and maybe even that you never wanted it but you spoke out of anger and you were wrong.

This might seem a tricky step, but it is required. Since you were the one to bring up the issue of breakup, your other half could have started seriously considering and thinking that it is a smart idea, too. When you wish to know, “How to stop my breakup,” you want to find out what your other half thinks of the idea and make it obvious that you were inaccurate. Unless they’ve had a lot of time and reason to decide that you were right and breakup is the best step, you can probably save the relationship just by admitting you made a mistake.

If you’re wondering, “how to stop my breakup when I didn’t want it in the first place,” then you have your work cut out for you. You can explain, without judgment or accusations, that you suspect the relationship is worth saving and you do not want a break. Possibilities  are that you have done this, more than once. But the way you are saying it can make a change.

It’s vital for you to be really grown up and calm about it. That’s not always easy to do. A breakup is an emotional and painful thing. But it’s one thing to cry while explaining that you want to stay together, and entirely another to yell or dissolve into hysterics. If you scream, accuse or point fingers at your other half, you are giving him even more reason to need to escape from you. If you wish to learn ‘how can I stop my breakup‘ you must let go of the hate and acrimony you’re feeling toward your other half for ever endorsing it in the 1st place.

You also have to be willing to work on your problems. You must agree that the relationship can’t go back to the way it was, but must change for the better. Suggest relationship support. Explain, “I need to stop my breakup,” but point out you know your better half was sad with the way things were, and you are prepared to make them better.

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Filed under Conflict : Comments (0) : May 6th, 2009

3 Ways To Improve Your Relationship Today

You can really improve the quality of your relationship with a few simple practices.  Here are the top three tips you can put to use today to make your relationship even better.  More detailed information on all of this is available in a free relationship course 7 Vital Relationship Insights You Never Learned In School.

Top Secret Number One:  Play!  Actual relationship studies have shown that there is a decrease in fighting when there is an increase in playing.  So if you are fighting a lot, play more, and test this out for yourself.  Just a little bit of timea day of playing with your partner can begin to change the feel of your whole relationship.

So do you have a date night at least once a week where you both go spend time playing together like you did in the beginning?  Make the time to have fun with your mate!

Top Secret Number Two:  Get Better At Conflict.  Conflict will occur in any relationship.  Studies have shown that how partners deal with conflict determines the length and quality of the relationship.  During conflict we all tend to revert emotionally to 7 year olds, but screaming at your mate or expressing contempt are some of the big trouble signs for a partnership.

As you will be arguing with your love from time to time anyway, it is good to start now to take some time to learn how to deal with conflict in healthy ways.  One technique is to learn to attack less during a fight and use “I” statements rather than “you” statements to discuss how you feel.  You can get some free training on conflict and Emotional Intelligence here.

Top Secret Number Three is to Minimize the Mind Reading.  Your lover can’t read your mind.  They don’t actually just know what you want and need.  Realize this and help them out by asking for what you want.  If you need some time to yourself, ask.  If you need them to just listen instead of give you their advice, make a request for that as well.

By asking for what you need, you can prevent a lot of fights and sulking.You can also support your mate in making requests for what they need as well.  That’s being a good mate.

There is obviously a lot more to each of these three topics.  Books have been written on them.  But spending some time and effort on these three principles will pay off for your relationship over the long term.  If you’d like to learn more about Relationship Intelligence to transform your love life, you can fix relationship problems with a free course.

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : Apr 21st, 2009

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