Posts Tagged ‘licensed professional counselors’
How Can Pre Marriage Counseling Help You
Pre marriage counseling really does pay off, according to a four state survey of over 3,000 homes published by Scott Stanley in the Journal of Family Psychology (March, 2006). The survey found that couples who met with marriage family counselors were, on average, 31% less likely to divorce than couples who did not attend counseling. They were also more likely to report higher marital satisfaction, lower marital conflict and greater levels of commitment.
The question of when to seek marriage counseling before the big day may be dicey. It’s sort of like a prenuptial, which some people may find offensive or as admonishing the fact that “Hey things may not work out as planned!” As the practice of counseling for couples becomes more widespread, this becomes less an issue, though. To help guide you, the California Association for Marriage Family Therapists came up with several criterion. If you’re young and have never married, then go! If one partner is “commitment-o-phobic,” then go! If there are unresolved issues regarding money, parenting, household responsibilities, work or sex, then go! If one or more partners have had a previously failed marriage, go! If you feel you’d like added conflict resolution skills, go! Lastly, if there has been a history of childhood or domestic abuse, go! Sometimes these seemingly minor obstacles can become full-blown catastrophes later, so it’s important that they’re addressed early and professionally.
Research shows that money is the #1 thing new couples argue over, which can be addressed through pre marriage counseling. Marriage therapists say the major underlying source of financial conflict is lack of communication. Prior to getting married, you should identify your spending habits. Are you a “big spender” or a “big saver?” Sometimes, there is a communication breakdown as each side tries to win the power struggle. Additionally, there could be “The Done Deal” type who makes financial decisions like opening new credit cards or investing in a rental property without telling his/her spouse until it’s too late. Some people are also vulnerable to “keeping up with the Joneses,” buying out-of-budget cars, boats and gadgets, which drives more practical spouses up the wall. Holidays are another time when communication about spending tends to breakdown. Lastly, forgetting to tell a spouse about past debts can escalate into arguments galore.
Many pre marriage counseling sessions are more like educational courses, rather than therapy. The counselors are there to teach you ways to comfort your crabby partner after he or she has had “the worst day ever.” They’ll show you how to communicate your needs and wants without nagging, complaining or accusing. They’ll teach you how to overcome marriage-killer behavioral patterns like stone-walling, criticizing, defensiveness and contemptuousness. Before you say “I Do,” you can learn your personal conflict styles and recognize the relationship’s strengths and possible weaknesses, which will create better understanding in the long run.
Tags: christian marriage counseling, counseling for couples, family marriage counselor, licensed professional counselors, pre marriage counseling
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May 6th, 2009
Making Use Of Family Counselors During Tough Times
licensed professional counselors
In the early 20th Century, psychologist Carl Jung posited that children will begin to live out the unconscious conflicts of their parents. When parents are locked into a dysfunctional relationship, children will begin acting out in school, feeling depressed or rebelling against their parents out of spite. Family counselors began to emerge to treat these problems stemming from a damaged family system.
In general, a family counselor is skilled in an area of psychotherapy that helps parents and children interact, communicate, resolve conflicts, deal with emotions, understand one another better and forgive. Family therapy from licensed counselors can benefit families with marital problems, divorce, eating disorders, depression, substance abuse, work-related stress, credit problems, violence, parenting disagreements, grief or chronic health problems. Typically, families will attend weekly one-hour sessions with a family marriage counselor for a period of three to five months. However, if physical abuse, substance abuse or divorce is a factor, then the duration may be extended.
Family counselors have one goal and one goal only, and that is to bring family members closer together. Throughout several consecutive sessions, a family marriage counselor will examine each member’s problem solving skills, emotional capacity, role within the family, behavioral patterns and communication styles to see how each person may be helping or hindering the dysfunctional family unit. By understanding each other’s motivations, strengths and weaknesses, family members can learn to diffuse anger and form more peaceful, meaningful relationships.
Family counselors focus on relationship building more than diagnosing individual disorders or illnesses. If one of the family members is a substance abuser or physical abuser, then he or she may be sent to abuse counselors as well. Or, if the couples are feuding bitterly following a separation, then they may require divorce assistance on top of group family therapy. Sitting down together to resolve differences may not solve everything, but it is certainly a positive step toward ending destructive patterns that threaten to weaken your familial bonds.
Tags: family counselors, family marriage counselor, licensed counselors, licensed professional counselors, marriage family counselors
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May 6th, 2009
What Is The Couple Counselor Annual Visit About?
When we think of going to the doctor, we often imagine steely tools, long waiting rooms and rubber gloves. However, Dr. James Cordova, Ph.D. (from Clark University in Worcester Massachusetts) envisions an annual marriage checkup to keep relationships healthy and strong. “Marital satisfaction improves for couples who have been through the Marriage Checkup and for “control couples” who aren’t improving,” he reported after running a six-month study of 136 couples visiting a couples counselor trained in mid-level interventions.
Most of the people in Cordova’s couples counselor study were around 47 years old for husbands and 44 years old for wives, married for an average of fifteen years, although there are some newlyweds and some seniors also involved. Typically, they’ll videotape a couple discussing a problem and the counselors will review it later. “We watch them talk about a problem in their relationship together,” Cordova explains. Two weeks later, he can point out strengths and weaknesses in the tape, then presenting a “menu of options” for dealing with the situations. Sometimes couples may need to see licensed professional counselors, read books or simply spend more time together. Six months later, the couple will respond via a questionnaire to report their progress.
The initial results of these annual counseling sessions for couples have been promising, Cordova reports. In the first 68 couples, most reported increased marital satisfaction, improvements in intimacy and a higher level of cooperation and acceptance in their households. “People that have been through the marriage checkup are improving in all kinds of ways in comparison to couples who haven’t.” He admits that some couples will undoubtedly relapse, as anyone would in medical or emotional therapy, yet those with access to treatment always fare better.
“Essentially, what we’ve discovered over time is that marital health is really a health concern. The qualities of a person’s marriage and the extent to which they are doing well in that marriage has a dramatic effect on physical health and mental health,” said Cordova. He points out that many studies reveal that couples who stay together often live longer, but also that those who attend sessions with a couples counselor experience fewer physical health issues. Compared to the cost of other treatments, counseling for marriage is extremely low, so why not make a few phone calls today?
Tags: couples counselor, licensed professional counselors, the counselors
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Apr 2nd, 2009
Catholic Marriage Counseling Can Help Improve Your Relationships
You can benefit from Catholic marriage counseling, whether you’re Catholic or not. Christian counselors are not aiming to convert the non-believers, but rather, they’re trying to defend the sanctity of marriage and strengthen the family environment. After all, strong, loving family units are mankind’s best defense against evil. Rather than pay $100-$200 per session with a licensed marriage therapy professional, why not see what God can do first?
One form of Catholic counseling happens before you even get married. Pre-marriage counseling is generally part of any Christian ceremony. Counseling for couples may be done in sessions, as a weekend retreat or as a group seminar. As with any other marital counseling, you’ll learn about conflict management, identifying wants or needs and strengthening communication skills. Often this opportunity is partially covered by insurance, with a small fee based on an income-sensitive sliding scale. The idea is that pitfalls can be prevented with a little bit of skill building and knowledge prior to tying the knot.
Marriage rebuilding is another type of Catholic marriage counseling that has gained popularity over the years. There are many reasons why couples fight, but one of the main reasons is money. Catholic charities may be able to assist a couple in acquiring food or getting help with their heating bills for a few months until they can get back on track with their finances. They can also preside over an open dialogue about spending habits, as well as short and long term goals. Other times couples may fight over child rearing, in which case pastoral counselors can remind us to return to God and raise our children with love and firm resolve.
There are pros and cons to choosing Catholic marriage counseling. On the plus side, you’ll be saving money, strengthening your marriage and learning to incorporate more spirituality into your life. On the downside, you’re often not being counseled by someone who has formal training in conflict management, communication, psychology or marital issues. The group seminars may not provide the type of personalized analysis you would like, so if you feel you’re in need of some solid solutions, then perhaps marriage therapists would be more your speed.
Tags: catholic marriage counseling, counseling for couples, counseling for marriage, licensed professional counselors, marriage family counselors
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Mar 22nd, 2009