Getting Your Ex Back If You’ve Been Too Controlling

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It happens in a lot of relationships.  One partner becomes too controlling and smothering of their mate.  They demand to know where he/she was at all times.  Tried to prevent them from spending time with their other friends.  Tried to force them to spend all their free time together.  In some cases, it gets even worse, requiring them to have dinner ready by certain times, laundry done in a certain way, etc.  You can learn more about getting your ex back here.

These kinds of behaviors smother your mate and it is only natural that they will reject you for it.  At first it might have been kinda cute or something, but after a short while it shows up as a big problem for your ex.  When they start to feel they can’t breathe without your knowing about it they begin to tire of you fast.  You get the boot.

Now you want to get your ex back in your life hopefully without the whole controlling thing.   What, if anything, can you do to get them back?

The answer, honestly, is that it depends.  Some controllers created too much pain for their ex to ever take them back.  Some controllers will need therapy before they can really expect to have any healthy relationship.  Confusing power over with love will destroy the intimacy in any relationship.

Hopefully their kicking you out has awakened you some.   People get into relationships for play, love and intimacy, not to be dominated and controlled in the name of love.  So if you have learned something from being kicked out, if you can understand how what you did wronged your mate and if truly feel that you dont need to do some of those things again, that is a first important step, and you have a chance to get your ex back.

The question is, did you learn something from the experience of being dumped by your mate.  If so, that is something that can actually help you get your ex back.  You can get a complete system for Get Your Ex Back In Hours here.

The next step is to have a particular kind of apology conversation with your ex.  Your behavior caused them damage.  You will need to own up to the damage you caused.  You will then need to let them vent, to listen as they let you know how what you did made them feel.  Finally, you will need to convince them that you have learned from them and what they told you, and you wont repeat that behavior.  If you can do those things, you may actually have a chance to get your ex back.

There is much greater detail to these steps than we have room for here.  But learning from your mistakes and convincing them of some of what you’ve learned can go a long way towards getting your ex back, or at least create some room for them to consider trying a date or two with you again.  Go here for a free course on Love Advice.

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Filed under General : Comments (0) : May 10th, 2009

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